It’s natural to be defensive, but it doesn't look good

Posted by Kate Betts on 6th June 2024

Over the years of helping clients deal with potentially negative PR, I have been surprised at the number of times their initial response has been to say something very defensive.

The sort of ‘don’t have a go at me; you don’t know how hard we have worked’ response. (Encapsulated well by  Gillian Keegan and her expletive-ridden rant off-air to ITV about the Government’s efforts to sort out the Raac in schools crisis.)

My usual reply to my client is ‘no-one cares about you in a crisis; they care about those we see as ‘victims’.’  And I would feel exasperated that they took such a combative approach.

But then I started to think about this more from my clients’ point of view and realised that they often feel the victim. They feel got at. Criticism feels like an attack, even if it is justified criticism. And what do we do when we feel attacked and in danger? We go into fight or flight response. Or there’s a third way psychologists call ‘freeze’ - perhaps that’s the ‘no comment’ approach.

When you are attacked the body’s evolutionary response is to survive at any cost. It is a physiological mechanism, over which we have no real control. Our amygdala and hypothalamus in our brains work together to trigger the release of hormones which flood the body causing fight or flight. It means we jump out of the way of the oncoming car without having to process thoughts. Basically, it keeps us safe.

Back in the mists of time we needed to run or fight when faced with a woolly mammoth or sabre-toothed tiger. And even today we need that stress response when faced by an aggressive dog or that speeding car.

It is still a useful and sometimes life-saving response, but as humans we have evolved to be far more than just basic responses (what is sometimes dubbed the Lizard Brain). We have more advanced parts of the brain and those are the bits we need to engage when faced with criticism or when we feel attacked.

So, yes, your first response might be to metaphorically put your fists up. But when the public out there are on the other side, outraged perhaps by what you have done or are perceived to have done; coming out fighting rarely looks good.

(Obviously there are times when a robust response may be the right one, but only if you are 100 per cent sure you are not at fault in any way.)

So put down your fists, and stop and think about how your response looks. It is not about how you feel, it is about how it looks.

Bring yourself back to a calmer state of mind. Slow, deep breathing is a good way for your conscious brain to tell your unconscious brain that you are safe. It may help you soften your approach – and help you respond appropriately and not just retaliate.

Back in the mists of time I did a degree in Physiology. After leaving university I moved into the media world. Strange how that degree maybe does have its uses after all!